devious stares.

not sleeping sucks.

wishes.

i wish it were easier to not think of him all the time.
i wish it were easier to sleep and not dream of him.
i wish it were easier to wake up and not wish he were next to me.
i wish it were easier to know that in three months, he'll be back.
i wish it were easier to get through every day without him.
i wish it were easier to not wish he were with me through everything i do.
i wish it were easier to not miss him in this all-consuming way.

after awhile.

eventually, everyone stops crying so much.

tegan and sara.

tegan and sara make me feel all these things.

crying.

crying is exhausting. crying is relieving. crying takes so much out of you. crying takes you by surprise. crying is hard to stop. crying sometimes gets in the way. crying is sometimes the only way.